‘Hot Cowgirls, Mount Up!’

[hsifeng]

If you don't watch Supernatural, you are not going to understand 95% of this. If you insist on clicking through the cut link anyway here is a brief primer:

1) Sam and Dean are brothers
2) They live on the road, moving from crappy hotel room to crappy hotel room (and hunting/killing evil things along the way)
3) Sam is a research geek
4) Dean is a porn geek (if you read between the lines)
5) It is known that the boys father did some "questionable things" to support his hunting habit when Sam and Dean were young..

....

I don't think this is what the writers meant by "questionable things"...

So, somtimes you see things as a video, and it inspires you. This is something like that. Sorta. /insert wry smile

*****

This Friday, on a Very Special Supernatural; Dean and Sam learn just how far John Winchester went to pay for ammo and rock salt.

Somewhere in the state of Florida….

DEAN: (From off camera.) Hey Sammy, the cable box in this motel is broken. It looks like we have access to all the porn channels…for free!

SAM: (Sitting a the table of a seedy hotel room, head stuck in the obits section of the local paper.) That’s great Dean, do me a favor and don’t put your eye out over there.

DEAN: (Still off-camera.) There’s nothing new on these channels, just good old fashioned 70’s muff action! So what do you think, ‘Debbie Does Detroit’, ‘Henry Longfellow’ or ‘Hot Cowgirls, Mount Up!’?

SAM: (Crouched behind laptop screen, possibly in an effort to avoid eye contact with his older brother, possibly to block his line of sight to the TV screen – comically in any case, because who ever heard of a moose hiding behind a laptop?) Please tell me you are not serious?

DEAN: Cowgirls it is!

The camera pans to find Dean fiddling with the inner workings of the cable box, which has been jimmied open and is precariously balanced on top of the TV.

SAM: (The camera pans back to SAM, who opens a large tome and starts mumbling to himself in Latin. We’d like to believe he is practicing an exorcism, but more likely he is trying to drown out the sounds that begin coming from the television speakers.)

PORN VOICEOVER (which sounds suspiciously like Gabriel): Out in the Wilds of West Texas lived a sweat young woman by the name of Johanna. She was a pretty young thing, and new to the Lone Star State…

DEAN: Dude. This actress…it’s like she’s a Russian power-lifter or something…

SAM: (*Still mumbling in Latin* Sinks lower into his chair).

PORN VOICEOVER: Johanna likes to ride (if you know what I mean) and before she takes her big, sweaty stallion into the stable for a special treat, she is gonna wash him all up…

DEAN: Dude. Not a chick. Not. A. Chick!

SAM: (Peeking out from over the top of the book.) What do you mean…

DEAN: Oh…oh god. Oh god no…


I’ll let your imagination take it from there. 

Comments

[evil-fionn.livejournal.com]

Oh... My....
Words.. failing. Can Not.. Express.. Horror.

[hsifeng.livejournal.com]

*smirks at the evil she has spread*

I'm just saying; in my head, this scene totally happened. Probably earlier this season (long enough after John's passing that the boys don't just break down crying).

*giggle*