hsifeng: (Bouncy)

I cannot stop laughing.

I may pass out soon....
hsifeng: (tl;dr (*too long; didn't read))
I can't believe how funny some of the people I know are. Apparently April first was an incredibly slow day at the office for T. Jones and company. Names have been shortened to protect the witty:

We join our story, already in progress. T. Jones has been amused/annoyed by a case that came across her desk and has shared her mood with a few of her co-workers. They attempt to cheer her up, put the situation in perspective and solve the mysteries of the universe.

Sorta in that order.


From: T. Jones
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 10:14 AM
To: To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*


I have a congenital lack of pity for fools.  At least it was no one within whacking distance.


From: T. Genaro
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 10:18 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*


So you don't have the Mr. T gene Tina?


From: A. Liles
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 10:38 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*

For life to exist there must be a symmetric equation regarding the factors of pity(p) and fools(f) -> p-f=0. If any one factor rose to a level higher than the other, life as we know it would cease to exist. The fool factor can be decisively measured by dividing jibba-jabba(j) by tolerance for said jibba-jabba(t) -> f=j/t. With these two equations we can deduce: p-f=0; f=j/t ->p-(j/t) = 0 -> p = j/t. This equation leads to quite an interesting result. As we can see, if we hold jibba-jabba constant, as tolerance for said jibba-jabba approaches 0, pity approaches infinity. Now we all well know that Mr. T “ain’t got no time for the jibba-jabba.” In fact, extensive observational studies have been conducted and even with machines able to calculate with precision to the 23rd decimal place, Mr. T’s tolerance for jibba-jabba has been conclusively found to be 0, and therefore Mr. T’s pity is the literal embodiment of the concept of infinity


From: B. Klomhaus
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 10:42 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*

Although Mr. T says he "pities the fool", I think he's really getting at his pity for humankind for having to tolerate the inclusion of such fools in society.  I think it would be more accurate to say he musters a form of anti-pity towards fools and restrains himself with gold chains and rings to prevent his anti-pity from becoming an unstoppable force of foolish destruction.
 
 

 From: O. Nettell
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 10:46 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*

To try to understand the nature of Mr. T's pity for fools is to try to understand the nature of the universe itself.  Humankind just isn't evolved enough to comprehend yet.
 
When Mr. T dies, another is chosen using a process much like the Dahli Lama.  All young children born on a certain date....with mohawks, are asked to identify Mr. T's gold chains to test if Mr. T's pitiless soul was reincarnated into them.
 



From: B. Klomhaus
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 11:05 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*

An observational step was left out.  If p-f=0 and p=infinity, because the universe still exists (at least to my perception), there must, in fact, be an infinite number of fools in the world.  I'm sure all of us knew this instinctively, with countless observational experiences to confirm, it's just nice to have concrete mathematical proof to back it up.
 
Long ago the Mayans mapped out the pity:fool ratio (what many mistook as an astrological mapping calendar is actually a record of the contortions the universe must go through in order to keep the pity:fool ratio a constant 1:1 and hold back what they calculated to be some kind of "intergalactic-pity-supernova") and discovered that on December 21, 2012, there would finally be an imbalance of the pity:fool ratio.  I would've stopped right there too, I mean, who wants to face the unchecked pity of Mr. T in all it's awesome fury?  Not much else to live for after that.


From: O. Nettell
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 11:14 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*
Are you guys sure on those numbers? I thought the ratio of fools to pity was only even on an equinox.  If I remember science class correctly winter only happens when our number of fool is so great the sun actually moves away from us in disdain.


From: B. Klomhaus
Sent: Friday, April 01, 2011 11:28 AM
To:
To The Bad Ass Crew at CASF, Inc.
Subject: RE: *sigh*
It may be that the ratio is on a constant as measured throughout each calendar year.  The science of T-pity Mechanics is still a vastly uncharted field.
 
Perhaps it's that the number of fools will have reached such an extreme that on Winter Solstice in 2012 (which conveniently happens to be both December 21st and the start of winter) Mr. T will forever leave the fools of the Earth, finally reclaiming his original gold medallion we call the Sun, and take his pity to a less foolish corner of the universe where kids stay in school and where it may once again be put to good use.



I couldn't just read and delete. I had to save this for posterity. Think of it as the "Gospel According to T".
hsifeng: (*Arrrrrrrr!* Sewing Pyrate!)



If I hadn't met my husband already, and was 15 years younger....this gentleman would be in serious trouble.

 

Geek + Musical + Hilarious + Awareness That Fame Is Ephemeral (at the age of 18 no less) = *nom nom nom*

 

 

PS: Not bad looking either….


hsifeng: (www.crackafuckingbook.com)
What? No one could tell me about thislittle gem?

Thank the gods for [livejournal.com profile] chargirlgenius and her willingness to share the wealth.... ;)

Fact: Radiation Prevents Terrorism
see more Historic LOL

Although, some of these may be...erm....

NSFW (?) ....maybe... )

see more Historic LOL

ZOMG....

Jan. 22nd, 2009 11:52 am
hsifeng: (Spastoid Muppet Time)


http://www.aad.gov.au/webcams/krill/


Noel Gieleghem is my new hero... I had to repost...he was singing MY song! For those who don't know, my maiden name is Crill.

*************************
 

Sung to the tune, “Killing me Softly” by the Fugees

 

 

I heard the strangest rumor,
Crustaceans on the 'Net,
And if you haven't seen them,
You ain't seen nothing yet!
Euphausia superba,
Known as "Ant-arc-tic krill,"

Waving their virtual feelers,
Soothing my nerves as they swim
Krilling me softly, with their song
Krilling me softly, with their strong,
Calming my frayed nerves,
As they swim
Krilling me softly, with their song!

Long a cetacean favorite,
Now we can have our fill!
Not just for baleen feeders,
Macro-planktonic thrill,
A banquet for all senses,
Micro-shrimp semaphores…

Waving their virtual feelers,
Soothing my nerves as they swim
Krilling me softly, with their song
Krilling me softly, with their strong,
Calming my frayed nerves,
As they swim
Krilling me softly, with their song!



hsifeng: (Bouncy)
You know who you are, and you know you are already placing a call to the pet store.... *chuckle*

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