Every now and then I run across something on the internet that just strikes a nerve. Sometimes it’s someone saying something that I’ve been trying to articulate. Sometimes it’s something that clarifies something I’ve been trying to figure out for myself. Sometimes it’s something that give me Thinky Thoughts™.
And sometimes it’s just someone validating my experience.Back in 2007
, when I was hanging around with Dawn, she took a nutty on me when I didn’t attend a party that had gone from “come over and hang out and watch movies” but swiftly escalated to “Dawn is going to set Julie up with her ex-roommate and they will live happily ever after” after she’d found out we’d stumbled across each other in an online dating site.
At the time I was suffering from a bout of major Depression. I was in therapy and taking meds, but hadn’t quite figured out all my own symptoms and reactions yet, and didn’t yet know how to articulate my own needs. I’d had a rough week at work (more conflict with Bossy Lady and computer problems), it was February (always a rough month for me due to cold and dark), and that weekend what I really needed was to hide out at home in the blanket fort by myself and do some self-care. I definitely did not have the spoons to perform "perfectly normal human" in public, let alone the level of vivaciousness required try to impress a potential suitor, especially not in front of an audience
. But Dawn was so invested in playing matchmaker that she was hugely
offended when I didn’t show up and refused to answer the phone when she called to yell at me about it.
So you can probably imagine how I felt when I read a recent Captain Awkward post
where the Captain statedThe matchmaker’s ego and investment in the outcome < the interest and wishes of the matchmakees.
Oh. Hells. Yes.